Academia Postponed


My dream of establishing He-Man Woman Hater’s University is on hold while I wait to hear from my first matriculant.  I left my number at his job with instructions to call me when he wanted to see the dormitory, but have not received a call, despite previous conversations during which he expressed interest.  Regardless, given my past experience with tenants in Liberty, I am not surprised.

There exists a set of people looking to rent who are not prepared to provide a deposit or willing to sign a lease.  Years ago, that included a significant population of cash-rich Latinos who could be counted on to take care of your property.   Alas, Liberty held a parade when they went back home in 2009.  Now, all that remains are blacks and much worse, poor whites.

About that time, I rented to a young black guy who paid on time and kept the place up.  But his daddy died and he took to drinking, losing a good job.  When he moved out, he left a pit bull tied to a tree.  One of the neighbors agreed to take him.

I drove down, put up a For Rent sign and began mowing.  As if by magic, a woman and her daughter descended on me, wanting the place.  This too, was not unusual.  These people may not have a deposit, but can smell a house for rent from miles away.

Once before, I got a call from a guy who said he wanted the house and had arranged to have cable installed that afternoon.  I warned him to stay off my property and never call again.

I gave the key to a young couple once with the agreement that the first month’s rent would be forthcoming.  I knew his parents and they both had good jobs.  I arrived a few days later to find all my old furniture had been hauled away as garbage and the rooms which I had painted in pastels ruined with dark hues.  I called the kid and asked WTF? to find him on vacation in Myrtle Beach.  I got my key back.

He-Man Woman Hater’s University obviated such problems by me maintaining a room and responsibility for the utilities, allowing my young charge to work and go to school with a minimum of distractions, and providing me with a way to defray the cost and secure the property.

I remain hopeful, but at present am certain my name is being blackened further by the gossip network, which is vast and stupid.

Back to my most recent tenant, I told the woman and her daughter that I didn’t like white people as they tended to abuse my property and lie.  The concept of Jesus was proffered, which disturbed me even more.  Still, she wanted a tour, during which many criticisms were made. Back outside, I gave her a price, which caused her to wail as if having been struck.  They left and I went back to mowing.

Thirty minutes later, they returned with mattresses in the back of a truck and my money.  I never spoke with her that she didn’t have a cig in her face, mention Jesus or complain about something.  At some point, I escalated her complaints to the Wife, who nipped that in the bud.  I gave her thirty days to vacate last August and she was gone in twenty, paying what she owed.  Despite having two dozen cats, the only problems with the property were an infestation of fleas and some pissed off neighbors.

I’m reading Bukowski’s Women and look forward to instructing my first student in their ways, if not those of tenants.

This entry was posted in Education Disasters, Neighborhood Disasters, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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