I am a Terrorist

I own no weapons and have no plans to bomb anyone, but I am a dedicated terrorist.

A little over three years ago, the Wife signed a lease for our fifth location in 19 years for her clothing store. It was in a very high traffic rundown shopping center beside Lurch & Snaggletooth’s Burger Bar. We agreed to park in back and use the basement stairs, to make room for more parking up front.

Ten months later, I tossed a kid I caught messing with my new truck. I was acquitted of assault, when he moved to California.

However, since then I have been baiting them for being open 10 hours per day, 7 days per week and failing to deal with the trash out front and in back.

About a year ago Snaggletooth hired a cook to tune me up the next time I got out of line. Fortunately, he was not there, this morning.

I arrived about 8:45, got out of my truck and carried my backpack and lunch toward the store. I had my keys in my other hand, and was enraged to see a discarded food bag in the parking lot, right at the manager’s feet. He was on the phone, but I told him to pick up the trash.

He called me a faggot as I put the key in the door. I turned, bum rushed and head butted him. He turned and hit me on the side of the head.

He punched like a little girl, and I chased him around the parking lot, asking him to hit me again.

He said he was going to call the cops, so I got in my truck and headed back home.

I called the Wife and told her what had occurred. She went to the store and called me as the cops, EMS and a crime scene van arrived.

She called me later to indicate I would not be charged, as there were no witnesses.

Of course, I am fired, even though I do all the shipping and put new stuff online. She is looking for someone to replace me.

I really can’t blame the guy for calling me a faggot, given that I work in the back of a dress store and wear sandals and rugby shorts all Summer. Besides being comfortable, it also leads people to believe I’m homosexual.

I have no idea whether he will be fired, but he’ll celebrate Halloween with a mouse on his face from my head.

The Wife’s store struggled until I built the ecommerce site, eight years ago.

I got up leaves, today and will hang out for a few days to see what happens, before seeking another job.

I’ve been bullied most of my life and once dropped a high school football coach.

Later, I got into the habit of head butting people’s fists as I shook their hands.

I also developed a bad habit of head butting bigger people in the chest, as a greeting.

What happened this morning was pure instinct.

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